How to get your confidence back after a hard breakup

A breakup can feel like the worst thing in the world when it happens. A typical feeling is that of worthlessness – you can find yourself questioning what is wrong with yourself and what you did to deserve this pain. After a while, you can find yourself wondering how to get your confidence back. Here are some ways that may help you rediscover your confident self.

Surround yourself with loved ones

Having a good circle of loved ones can be key for grieving a breakup and finding yourself again. Even if it is people who are happy to sit there listening to you venting at them, they are invaluable as venting to them is making sure these feelings aren’t being kept inside and playing on your mind.

Friends and family are also great for helping to remind you why you deserve love and why they value you as a loved one. Scheduling a few friend dates to get out of the house and do something fun when you feel ready will gradually recharge your social battery.

Dress to feel confident

Faking it until you make it can actually work! Changing a small part of your usual appearance can give you a boost of confidence. It could be something external, such as a new haircut or a vivid new colour can help that pretend happiness become real.

You could always change something about the clothes you wear. A new accessory such as a statement necklace or a pair of new tights can brighten an outfit and change the way you feel. Or maybe you could try some new red lingerie; having that secreted away under your normal clothes can make you feel quietly confident and help you to walk taller.

Seek professional help

Counselling can be beneficial in all aspects of life but especially when you are working through a huge life change such as a breakup.

Talking to a professional can be the start of your healing. Talking through your emotions helps to sort them into digestible pieces for you to work through. A counsellor will be able to provide you with strategies and techniques to build yourself back up to your best self.

Start something new

The ending of a relationship can often mean you find yourself with loads of spare time and nothing to fill it. To combat this try taking up a new hobby. It could be something small like committing time to spend reading more, or you could start woodworking if that is something you’ve always wanted to do.

Another option could be to join a local community group. If you enjoy belting your heart out in the shower you could investigate whether there are any choirs or singing groups in your area. If pottery is something you’ve always wanted to try there may be classes at your local college or community centre.

Making friends as an adult can be hard so by trying something new you can also meet new people which will pick your social life up and help you to remember who you are.